The power of self leadership to prevent burn out

I’m writing this article for those of you who might be sitting on the edge of burnout.

You may not call it that yet. Perhaps you simply feel stretched, exhausted, or quietly aware that the way you’re currently living and working isn’t sustainable.

Your body is tired. Your mind is racing. Your spirit feels a little thin.

And somewhere inside, there’s a voice whispering: something has to change.

I’m writing this for you. But I’m also writing it for the version of myself who didn’t realise she was burning out four years ago.

We were in the midst of COVID.  The organisation I had worked in for over a decade was undergoing a major restructure. At the same time, my partner and I had decided—perhaps somewhat optimistically—to embark on a house renovation.

Global uncertainty. Career uncertainty. Home uncertainty.

What I didn’t realise was how profoundly those combined pressures would affect me.

My anxiety rose gradually until my nervous system was in a constant state of alert. I began to operate in survival mode without recognising it. My career felt uncertain. Our finances felt unstable. My home quite literally looked like a demolition site. Everything was turning to dust metaphorically and literally.

Looking back now, there are several things I wish I had understood earlier.

Not just for my own wellbeing—but for my leadership.

Burnout isn’t about weakness

Burnout is not simply about working too hard. It’s about how your nervous system is processing the demands placed upon you. And many people—particularly those in leadership roles—are exceptionally skilled at ignoring the signals their bodies are sending. Until the body refuses to be ignored! 

Today, I know that sustainable leadership is not just a cognitive challenge—it is a biological and emotional one that requires caring for the nervous system and the body as much as the workload. Now, I know my body is designed to experience stress and then discharge it. Imagine the gazelle that escapes the lion – when safe it shakes, releasing all the accumulated stress. We also need to release stress. According to Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski’s research from Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, burnout is not simply the result of too much stress—it occurs when the body is unable to complete the stress cycle. 

While stressors such as work pressure, uncertainty, or emotional labour may remain, the physiological stress response in the body needs opportunities to discharge. Many of you will be familiar with the importance of movement and breathing in releasing stress but science also tells us that laughter, social connection, and rest all help signal safety to the nervous system. 

My response to the growing accumulation of stress surrounding me was to slowly shut down.  I stopped exercising because I ‘didn’t have time’. I stopped reaching out to friends because I ‘didn’t want to burden them with my troubles’, and as I tried to distract myself from the discomfort and overwhelm through watching mindless TV and scrolling, sleep became a distant memory. These actions simply amplified my dysregulated nervous system leading to exhaustion, overwhelm, interpersonal issues, distrust, doubt and significantly reduced capacity across the board. 

Today, I know better. When I notice my nervous system mobilising and my stress system becoming activated to respond, I know I need to intensify my self-care program.  I support my nervous system to complete its stress cycle. I do this by dancing, going to the gym and walking. I focus on my sleep hygiene using 10-3-2-1 to support rest. I reach out to check in with friends and family and organise an adventure. Finally, I activate the right side of my brain through writing, creating art, music making and meditating. When I do one or all of these activities, I notice my nervous system come back into its ‘window of tolerance’ which supports my stress cycle to complete – moving my body from activation to recovery. 

The quiet power of self-leadership

The stories I hear most often from women are not about dramatic breakdowns. They are about bodies that slowly begin to protest. Persistent fatigue. Anxiety that won’t settle. Sleep that never restores. These signals are not inconveniences. They are intelligence. The earlier we listen, the more choice we have in how we respond. 

One of the most profound lessons that burnout taught me is that leadership begins with self-leadership. If we cannot regulate ourselves, how can we create stability for others? If we cannot listen to our own limits, how can we model sustainable leadership for the people we support? The quiet power of leadership does not come simply from pushing harder. It requires caring for the nervous system as much as the workload. Leading from a place of wholeness that incorporates your cognitive, biological and emotional needs. 

From that place, leadership becomes steadier. Decisions become clearer. And the capacity to support others expands rather than depletes.

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